It's crazy and ilogical

Believe it or not, being dad is often, crazy and illogical.

Why do I say that?

Well, many things you do as dad is beyond pure logic and many times, at the spur of the moment.

You walk into a toy store and you never seem to leave without buying something. Even if it's a small thing. You see your baby reaching for a bright yellow soccer ball and the first thing that hits your mind is "she likes that so let's get it!" and that very yellow ball goes straight into the supermarket basket and thru the checkout counter.

You see your daugther so excited when she gets the chance to hammer away on your laptop and the next time you are at a kids fair, you buy her a toy laptop with a grand picture in your mind that she gets to play with hers while you work on yours.

More than just simply buying stuff, you act differently as well.

Your voice changes when your baby comes on the phone. Your voice goes all soft and high pitch with almost every sentence that comes out from your mouth a question. Never a statement.

You reach home and instead of opening the door and walk straight through, you open the door slowly and peep in to see if your daughter is waiting for you and when she does see you, you stand at the door shouting across the red sea hoping that she would jump for joy at the sight of her dad coming home. When she does, your heart melts.

You grab her from your mother-in-law because you haven't seen your precious for almost 8 years ... I meant ... 8 hours and you ask every question that comes to your mind about what she has done for the last 8 hours knowing full well that at 7 months old, she probably don't understand a single question you are asking let alone reply.

So you do crazy things. You make funny noises. You do funny actions and you contort funny faces to make your precious baby smile, giggle and laugh.


What's more crazy about it? You enjoy every moment of it. You enjoy buying the toy even though it seems to deplete your bank account . You enjoy bringing the toy home and making her smile even though you know she'll be more interested in the wrapper more than the toy. You enjoy being silly even though you risk being seen like a fool because your baby's chuckle and smile will make your day.

Crazy and illogical isn't it? :o)

Happy 7th Month Birthday Maegan!

Maegan turns 7 month today.

7 months. Wow. Seems not too long ago that I literally saw her entering this world and now, she smiles at me like a small little girl with a huge grin. All of 7 months.


What has happened this 7 months? Come to think of it, quite a fair bit.

For one, she was born. (With lots of hair I might add) 18 May 2006. She got her first taste of milk and her first day of home. Celebrated her one month at her grandma's place and saw mummy cried the first day she went back to work.

Started turning in bed and found her one day waking up with back facing up. Had her first nightmare and her first haircut.

Took her first holiday to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and held her first milk bottle all by herself. And of course, said her first "pa pa" followed by "ma" in that order (ok.. I'm bias)

Watched her first soccer game and golf game with her daddy and stayed over at Grandma's place for the first time when mummy went to Tokyo for a week. Started crawling, climbing and sitting on her own. She even recited The Lord's Prayer except that we couldn't make out any of the words she was saying.


And only just recently, she fell sick for the first time, coughed with flam, runny nose and fever all at the same time and just a few days ago, her first tooth appears.

So much has happened in this 7 months. She's such a joy.

Today like every 18th, I walk into a toy store to buy her a toy. Just to celebrate her 7th month birthday. Like they all say, you only be 7 months once.

Right baby? :o)

To Santa with love

Postcard from Maegan to Santa ...

Dear Santa,

This is my very first Christmas. I'm kind of excited about what Christmas will be like but more importantly, I'm wondering what presents I'll get this Christmas.


I was checking through my store and all the toys lying around, I realised that I actually already have a lot of toys that daddy, mummy, grandma and everyone who buys for me.

I had a sneak peak at my wardrobe and saw enough clothes to last me till 16 years old and enough shoes ... (okay, mummy said before that we will never have enough shoes). So looking at all that is around me, I do have a lot of stuff already.

So what should I ask for Christmas? Santa, do you have any ideas?

I kept seeing mummy and daddy talking on their handphone and I thought it would be great for me to have one too and almost magic, grandma bought me one recently. And it's pink!

Just the other day, I got a chance to play with daddy's laptop (the one with an apple on it. looks very cool!) and it was fun hitting it like daddy does almost every night when he works. So I thought maybe I can have that for Christmas but the very next day, daddy bought me one. No apple on the cover but it's still really cool to have my own laptop.

So what should I ask for? What do other kids ask for Santa? I do have other things I like to have but Christmas should be special. I think I like to ask for something that is special. Something really special ...

Hmm..... I know. Santa, can I have please have an XBox360? Daddy says it's would be great for my education. What do you think?

If that is too heavy for Rudolf to carry, I will settle for my two front teeth. One's coming up already but having two Christmas would be very nice.

Ok Santa?

Love, Maeagan.

I ran, I conquered and I almost died

3 December 2006 will be remembered as the day I ran the first half-marathon in my entire life.


Yes, me, Martin Tan, one who hardly exercise because he believes he has done enough exercise playing golf and soccer on his XBox, ran 21.1Km today in his personal best time of 3hr 43mins (well, personal best since it was my first run) at the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon.

The fact is that I ran some parts of it and walked most part of it and in all honesty, there were many times during the run that I wondered why I actually did it. It was some parts enjoyable but towards the last few kilometres, absolutely torturous. My legs is absolutely in pain even right now as I type!

So why did I do it? Well, apart from trying to fulfil my only new year resolution ever, I wanted to do it for Maegan. I wanted Maegan to have a dad that gave a shot at doing something and not simply talking about it. Even if I wasn't confident about it at all, I'll at least give it a shot.

I told Daphne (who ran a brilliant 10km by the way) that my objective wasn't to set a time but rather to finish. With a finisher medal now in my hands, I can at least tell Maegan when she grows up that one of the things that her daddy did was to take part in a marathon. (Ok.. half)

So when the time comes when she stands in front of something that she wanted to accomplish but not sure if she can do it, she can at least have one story of how her dad almost killed himself running a half-marathon with a finisher medal for keeps.

So yes, I ran, I conquered and I almost died.

If only they have leg transplant. Mine's aching like nobody's business!

Chews, bites and drools

What's up with babies putting everything in their mouths?

Maegan puts everything, and I mean almost everything she can get her hands on in her mouth. She chews, bites and drools all over the toys she plays with, including my collar and mummy's work access pass.

I'm told that babies explores the word by tasting things but surely there are better ways than to put everything in the mouth. Either way, she wins. It's really hard to stop her doing it.

So we ease the pain by buying her lots of teething toys which we freeze and affectionately calls it her ice-cream. She loves it. She would hold it, puts it in her mouth and chews. She smiles and looks at you with grateful eyes and with one hand holding her ice-cream, her other hand reaches out to her book and grabs it and ...


You guess it, puts right in her mouth. We can only smile. :o)

It's finally happened

Mark this date. 25 November 2006.

A significant milestone happened this very day. I've been looking forward to this day since Maegan was born, albiet with fear and trembling. Not a day I look forward to excitedly by the day I knew will come but just not sure when.

It's funny how you look forward to something you don't want to happen. You know it will happen someday but you just wonder how you, as a new dad, will react when it finally does.

You start wondering how it's going to happen, if it will ever happen, cross your fingers hoping that it will never happen and prepare your mind so that when it finally happens, you will be calm and ready to take care of it.

Well, it has finally happened. I'm just glad Maegan is still smiling, crying and doing everything she would always do, including pooing 3 times on 3 different pampers, all within 10 mins.

Yes, Maegan is doing just fine. Thank God.

So mark this date. 25 November 2006. What happened?

Well, she just fell off our bed that's all. :o(

Between a rock and a hard place

I just realised that being dad doesn't stop at my daughter. It includes managing grandparents.

In management, we call it Managing Upwards.

Reason for my enlightenment? Maegan's foray into the world of solids. She loves it. She loves the taste of carrots, veges and fish. Yes, fish at six months. We did recall our doctor saying to keep fish away for until she is a little older but baby nutrition books seem to say otherwise.

Either way, Maegan loves it but not her skin it seems. She's basically broke out in a slight rash and we have no clue which ingredient is causing it.

Asking Daphne's mum to stop feeding her fish ends up with her being upset about her work of love. Talk about being in between a rock and a hard place.


My mum is no different.

It seems that the moment Maegan can take solids, every food is a possible try for her by my mum. It's not just with Maegan but with my niece and nephew as well. She will try to give them food that my brother and sister-in-law says no to but she will still try anyway.

What's up with grandparents? If being a new dad is hard enough, talk about managing new grand parents.

Hmm.. anyone have any suggestions? I can certainly make do with some at this moment. :o)

It takes a lot to feed

How many people does it take to feed a baby? Four.

Yes, it takes four people to feed our little princess her cereals and now her porridge.

Her mummy will sit infront of her with a small little spoon full of sumptious porridge and like the B2 bombers flying into the war zone, the spoon flies, complete with the flight sound and straight into an open airstrip affectionately called, The Mouth.


Nina our helper stands behind holding Maegan down to her sit so that she does not move about so much that half the porridge ends up on her face instead of her mouth.

Her grandmother and grandfather stands in front of her making all the funny faces and sound just so that she would concentrate on the food before her and eat her fill.

Four adults just to feed one growing baby. I never knew feeding solids is so tough. Wouldn't it be better if Maegan just kept drinking milk? :o)

Well, just in case you are wondering what her daddy was doing when everyone was feeding Maegan? Well, I was busy taking photos!

Very important you know. :o)

6 months

Come Saturday, Maegan turns six months.

Yup, how time flies.

It really didn't seem that long ago when Barcelona beats Arsenal in the Champions League final, the very day my princess was born. The one event that changed my life completely.

Now six months on, I'm learning more as a dad. I've managed to decode the various MaeVin Ci codes. Pooh, Wee, Food or Me. Either one, it starts now with a very loud cry. Talk about seeking for attention!

Maegan has grow so much. She's now starting to learn how to crawl. Knees on the floor and buttocks up seems to be her favourite trick lately. She moves forward but slowly. I think my in-laws are getting worried the day she crawls fast. They'll have a hard time chasing her.

Her vocabulary is also improving. She's making more distinct noises with a couple that are her favourite words. "Daddy looks great!" is what she seem to be saying.

She loves to talk. Make funny sound and faces and blowing bubbles so hard that her face turns red.

It's been six months. It's great news that I've survived so far being dad. More importantly, Maegan is growing well and nicely.

I wonder what the next 6 months will bring.

More pooh? :o)

Night Dad

Am I a night time dad?

Why the question? Well, just a while ago on our way back from my in-laws, Daphne said that I'm more active in playing with Maegan at night when I come home after a long day of work.

Since she said that, I've been thinking a little about it.

Perhaps it's true. I love coming home to Maegan. Work is becoming increasingly demanding on my time. I'm slowly learning that running a charity is not an easy task let alone having a family to fend for at the same time. But, precisely having Maegan to go home to makes work all the more meaningful.


It's great fun the moment I step into the house. Both Daphne and I would go at the top of our voices "Guess who's back?" and we would search around for our little baby girl. Sometimes she would be with her grandma smiling at us or she would be no where to be found only to later return with smiling grandparents lugging goods from Malaysia. (Yes, my daughter has more travel chops on her passport than me)

We would have our dinner and I would play with her, carry her, cuddle her and often, volunteer to carry her from her car seat back home.

In the morning is somewhat different.

I often drag myself out of bed and after freshening up, I'll come out to our dining table for breakfast but not before seeing Maegan wide awake and playing. She would smile and get all excited. It's nice waking up to see your daughter smiling at the sight of you,.

I'll would carry her for a while, followed by my breakfast and papers. Morning routine. My mind would be filled with the meetings I have before me and getting ready for work.

A peg on her check and desperately trying to get her learn how to wave goodbye, I'm off to work.

Just like that.

So, perhaps there is a little difference between me in the morning and at night. Perhaps I am a night Dad.

I love her all the same but mornings are just a different time for me. I wonder if she notices the difference. I guess I'm just not a morning person. But then again, my friends from Kiwiland will tell you that it's nothing new.

They don't call me Possum* for nothing do they? :o)

*Possums are a beaver like animal that comes alive at night but sleeps in in the morning. A protected species in Australia but a pest in New Zealand.

I'm back :o)

I'm back.

After being offline for a while, I'm back. Or shall I say, we're back.

Maegan is getting cuter by the day and her daddy, getting busier by the minute.

So much has happened the last few weeks that I don't even know where to start. This time of the year is typically like this, lots of preparations for events, trying to fund-raise for the Foundation and trying to find some personal time is somewhat luxurious this season.

But being dad makes it all worth it. Sometimes, no matter how busy I am, I drive back to my in-laws place just to spend some time with Maegan and I feel recharged for the rest of the day. It's brilliant.

So what has happened the last few weeks?

Well, here you go.

1. My organisation changed name from Young Leaders Foundation to Halogen Foundation.

2. Daphne travelled to Japan for a week. (Picture of Daphne and Maegan before she flew.)

3. Maegan stayed over at her grandparents place while mummy is away while daddy gets busy at work.

4. Ran our final event for the year with 1600 students at Singapore Expo.

5. Daddy renovates office the next day after event. Staff thinks he's crazy.

6. Maegan started holding her own bottle while feeding

7. Daphne stopped breast feeding and we started formula for Maegan.

8. Maegan's poo get's stinkier by the day.

9. Maegan went for her doctor visit and her doc calls her "fatty". She weighs 7.5kg

10. Daphne bought a Bambo Chair for Maegan.

11. Maegan starts wanting to crawl.

12. Maegan's fart gets stinkier by the day.

13. Maegan started her first cereal feed.


I'll take sometime over the next few days to share more about what has happened. But as you can see, time flies when you are a dad.

More importantly, I'm back blogging.

Miss blogging actually. Hope you miss reading it too. :o)

Hate being sick

I hate being sick.

Yes, I'm down with a flu, high fever and a very sore throat. No thanks to the thick smog right outside of my windows as I post this entry. Yes. The haze has nailed another victim.

Apart from the fact that I cannot work well and cannot think well, apart from the fact that I have to postpone my Board Meeting because I am in no position to present anything to anyone, apart from the fact that even though I'm sick at home, my office called me non-stop, I hate being sick because I cannot carry Maegan.

I woke up this morning, groggy from medication, stumbled into my living room and I saw Maegan, sitting on the couch looking straight at me. Hi! I said and I walked over and 2 metres out I stopped. Better not so close I tell myself lest I infect her with my "hazimonia".

As she looked at her dad standing about 2 metres away, she must be thinking to herself "Why aren't you carrying me daddy?" But I can't baby. Daddy is sick.

How I wish she can understand.

Feeling a little better tonight, I managed to get closer to Maegan, kissed her cute little feet but not her face. Played with her but just not carrying her.

I need to get well. I want to be well. Not just because my Board Meeting is tomorrow but because I want to carry Maegan. It feels funny not being about to carry my daughter, even if it is just for a day. Sigh...

Tomorow. There's always tomorrow. I'll carry her tomorrow. :o)

Supposed To

I was supposed to blog about how smart Maegan was recently.

Yup, I was supposed to share about how she is being potty trained recently by Daphne. Each time she wants to poo, she will bring Maegan to the toilet and let her sit on the potty. After a while, she realised that sitting on her "throne" means time for pooing.

I was supposed to tell you how smart she is because for the last few days, she pooed each time our helper brought her to her "throne". Even her grandfather can't stop talking about it over our dinner of all times.

I was supposed to tell you how we are all amazed that Maegan, barely 5 months old is slowly learning that the toilet is a place to poo. She's not come to a place that she will tell you she's ready to go but at least, she poos when she's there.

Yes, I was supposed to tell you how excited I am to hear all these stories of her brilliant and smartness. Yes, I was suppose to.

I decided that maybe I shouldn't because I just heard today that Maegan didn't poo today on the "throne". Was the last few days fluke? Has she gone bored of her tricks that she has reverted to her old ways?

Sigh, I was so excited to share about her poo-on-her-throne stories that I thought about how I will blog tonight. But alas!

Perhaps she will poo tomorrow on the "throne". Maybe then I can tell you how clever she is.

Come to think of it, she is quite clever. For a few days, she did poo on the "throne".

Well, only time will tell. Till then, I think I'll not share about her pooing on the "throne" less you think I'm a proud father bragging about how smart his daughter is.

So yes. I was supposed to share about Maegan pooing but I think I'll keep that till she does it again next. For now, I'll just blog about more boring stuff.

Hmm... did you realise that Singapore is so misty lately? :o)

Kicked off my bed

I've been kicked off my bed by Maegan. Not once, but twice.

Yup. My daughter, with the help of her mummy is learning how to kick me off my bed.


Ok, not kick as in physically kick but she has been sleeping and lying between us on our bed in the morning after she wakes up. Daphne will often carry her in and let her play and roll about while her daddy is still asleep.

And when I start turning, I would often get a rude shock "Hey, watch it!" from Daphne and I'll jump up awake realising that I almost crushed my beautiful daughter. (How was I suppose to know she was there in the first place!!!! :o) ..)

So there she is, lying there with her angelic face and sweet sounding voices. She plays with her mummy, turns around to see the half awake me and she starts oohing and ahhing. And then it happens, she looks at me straight in my eyes and starts to roll towards me.

When she finally runs out of room because I'm in the way, she would start crying and complaining. "Move over a little for her" Daphne would say. But there's no more space!!!

And so I was, out of my bed giving space to Maegan to roll on our bed. My side of the bed and me, standing there making sure she don't roll off the bed like her daddy.

:o( Being the only guy in the family now, I'm starting to feel a little outnumbered and bullied. Humph...

I wonder she would turn towards mummy if I switch her around? Hmmm....

Worth a try don't you think? :o)

Coming home to my babies

She smiled. What else could I ask for?

Being gone for 7 days isn't something new but to be away in a country 5 timezones and 10 hours flight away from my daughter is somewhat new and hard for me.

For the past week, I've been in Auckland and Wellington, New Zealand for meetings. Managed to squeeze in a good friend's wedding in Rotorua in between but it was a busy trip. Somehow no matter how busy you are, you still think of home.

In all the meetings I was in, I find myself sharing about being a new dad and showing off Maegan's photo to everyone on my mobile. It started the moment I left, on the flight from Changi to Auckland and I showed her photo to the couple sitting beside me.

So you can imagine how much I miss home. Before I left, I even resorted into taking videos of her on my mobile so that I can "see" her when I'm in NZ.

After all the missing of home, I finally returned yesterday night. I was so excited. Spoke to Daphne before I boarded the plane and I knew Maegan was going to be there. The first time she's seeing her dad come home at the airport. How exciting is that?

Will she remember be? Has she grown bigger? Will she cry when she sees me? Will she be asleep when I arrive? Will she not let me carry her?

10 hours of plane journey with the occasional funny thought how she will be.

It's great having people you love receive you at the airport. Daphne and Maegan, my mum and Daphne's parents all arranged to have dinner at the airport. They seem to think that I've been away for 7 years but it was great having them there.

After clearing customs, I did my routine at the Duty Free Shop but found myself looking at the long queue and with my eagerness to see Maegan and Daphen growing by the minute, I decided not to buy my regular beer and wine and headed straight for baggage claim.

And there she was in her pram. Daphne pushed her closer to the glass and I went straight to her and waved vigourously. And she stared into my eyes, and stared and stared.

And then she smiled. What else could I ask for? :o)

Away and missing home

I've did it before but it gets harder.

4 timezones ahead and God knows how many miles away from Singapore, I'm not sitting at the Koru Lounge at Wellington Airport waiting to catch my flight back to Auckland. And all these while since leaving home on Wednesday night, I've been missing Daphne and Maegan.

It's been great just catching up with friends and having meetings and all. The most fun was simply showing everyone Maegan's photo on my phone and seeing their big smile and the very often "how cute!"

Made me a very proud dad but one that really misses my babies. Both big and small. :o)

5 more days to go before I come home. In the meantime, I'll live with my daily phone call home and staring at pictures of my family.

As I mentioned, I've done it before but it does get harder each time.

Better go now. If not I'll miss my flight.

First word

I'm staking claim to Maegan's first words.

Yup. Daphne was there to witness the very first recognisable words that my baby girl uttered.

She's been very talkative lately. Lots of ga ga and ooh ooh. She's resorted to screaming, fake coughing and her favourite "grrhhh" with saliver bubbles blowing out from her mouth. Maegan is entering the stage where she wants to talk.

And talk she does.

She recently looks at me straight in the eye, with her hands held up and started her fake little cries. Her dad looks at her, smiles and do the very thing she is asking for. Carry her.


So she does communicate with us but this time it's different. It's a word. Not just a word but one that we earthlings can understand.

Every thing she said before and after this word is not recognisable but this one word is clear as crystal.

There is no dispute now since Daphne was there with me. Maegan has officially uttered her first word.

"What was it?" you asked? What else could it be but ...

"Papa". :o)

I won.

Thinking further

Maegan has officially turned over. Fully.

Yup. Our 4 month old baby girl has completed her turnover successfully a few days back. On her own with no assistance. In fact, our helper only found out later that it wasn't us who helped her.

Happy we might be at this significant milestone, it does pose some interesting situations for us.

Firstly, she has gone independent and no longer needs our help. The next thing is that she will want to move out to flat on her own. Gosh.. she doesn't need us anymore! Help!

Secondly, the cot is becoming too small for her. She wriggles her way to the top of the cot and with no room left to wriggle, she screams at the top of her voice, not for help I suppose but rather "I need a bigger bed!" (notice, it's a bigger bed and not bigger cot.) Often, we go into her room only to find her head turned towards the end of the cot rather than the head. Bizzare but true.

Lastly, we need to be on our toes a lot more. We need to keep a look out for her just in case she turnsover on her own and get into difficult and life threatening situations like ... bringing a boyfriend home. (by life threatening I mean for the boyfirend's life.. not Maegan's)

In the mind of a dad, wild thoughts do surface while celebrating a huge step in Maegan's development. I guess it's important to plan ahead. All dad's do.

I'm just thinking a little ... further. :o)

Guilty as charged

I felt really guilty this morning.

The reason? A SMS Daphne sent shortly after I settled down in the conference I was attending the whole of today at Orchard Hotel.

It was an early start for me as I needed to arrive by 8.45 for registration at the conference. From the moment I wake up till we left the house, we did everything to make sure we got everything. I still found enough time to play with Maegan a little before we left but it was understandably short.

Reaching the hotel, we found a huge bus trying to negotiate this awfully small lobby driveway and I had to alight behind the bus much to my frustration. With a long queue of car behind being blocked by my car, I quickly alighted and kissed Daphne goodbye before running up the escalator into the conference.

Right on time, I sat down at my designated table, introduced myself to the really smart looking people around me and my phone beeped.

It was Daphne's SMS.

"just now your daughter look at you when you left the car. her daddy forgot to say bye to her! :)"

Arghhh.....

"I was rushing!"
"I was running late!"
"There were cars honking behind me just now!"
"It was that stupid bus!"

All the thoughts flew past my mind and it happened. The feeling of guilt descended.

Sigh... guilty as charged.


Like one of the participant said when I showed told her about Daphne's SMS,

"Four months old and the guilt trip as begun."

Indeed it has. :(

3/4 Turnover

Heard of the new McDonalds McChicken Foldover? Well, introducing the new "Maegan Turnover"! Complete with cries, yells and lots of laughs (mainly the parents).

Yes, Maegan has officially turned over on her own without any of our help. And she does it now every morning at 7am. When I say turnover, I truly mean 3/4 turnover. She still has one arm stuck under her chest when she finally does it and it frustrates her so much that she screams. At 7 in the morning until someone comes and help her hand out of the situation.

It's a great sight. I was up early this morning and decided to go into Maegan's room to see her before I leave. And there she was, rubbing her eyes and slowly waking up. The next thing I knew, she started turning.

She's a determined baby. She tries hard, making noises of frustration when she fails and after a while, she finally turns over but, she still don't seem to be able get her left hand out on her own. And because of that, she screams and cries, waiting for her favourite dad (her only dad) to come to her rescue.

So yes, Maegan's officially 3/4 turned over. Great start considering she's only 3 plus month.

I can't wait for the day she can fully turn over. She would really enjoy it and so will I. When that day comes, we will rejoice. And so will my neighbours because there will be a happy baby at 7am instead of a screaming one.