Conversations with Maegan

How does one hold a conversation with a 19 month old girl?

You just try really but they really do crack you up.

This is a sample of my conversation with Little Miss Maegan this morning:

Me: Hi darling, how are you doing?
Mae: Daddy!
Me: What did you do this morning?
Mae: Barney! Video!
Me: Wow! Did you watch Barney just now?
Mae: Barney! No more.
Me: Oh. Barney no more? What did you do after that?
Mae: Barney no more.
Me: Did you play after watching barney?
Mae: Yes! Play.
Me: What did you play?
Mae: That! (Pointing towards her new Dora brick toys)
Me: Did you play with Dora?
Mae: DORA!
Me: Wow. You were playing with Dora?
Mae: Daddy? Outside! Outside!
Me: You want to go out?
Mae: YES!


Off she went to get her shoes and stands at the door.

Mae: Daddy? Outside!

And our conversations continues while the dutiful dad grabs his shoe and obediently opens the door for the talking little miss maegan.

Our little drummer gal

Christmas is just round the corner.

So round the corner that our storeroom is full of presents both wrapped and unwrapped. It gets more each year as new babies are added to the list of gifts we need to buy.

But under our Christmas tree is what is getting exciting. You see, under the tree is one present we know that little miss Maegan will really enjoy much to our neighbours dismay. It's a children's drum kit.


You see, on her recent trip to JB with her grandparents, they realised that she seems to like hitting on the drums (much like the tables, cups, spoons and chopsticks we keep stopping her from hitting with) and she seemed to have a natural flair to it.

So her uncle comes back and decided to get her a drum kit for Christmas.

I saw her in action recently at a friend's place. Most parents are biased when it comes to the possible talent their child possess. We'll let you decide if she is indeed talented. :o)



Whatever it is, she seems to love it and that is all that matters to us. (maybe except the neighbours after Christmas Day).

In the meantime, have yourself a blessed Christmas!

We're finally back

It feels great to be back.

First of all, sorry for the delay in putting this blog back "live" again. Those of you who knows why the shutdown, thanks for the understanding. Those of you who don't, thanks for your understanding anyways. :o)

Whatever the reason was, it just feels great to be back.

Why? Maegan's growing up so fast that I really want to journal down all the moments that makes me love being a dad.


Not only is she 19 months officially yesterday, she's going to be a big sister in two months!

She's talking, she's running, she's loud, she's everything a little miss will be and more. More recently, she's memorised all of our names, from her grandparents to her uncles and aunties.

To be fair, she remembered all of her stuff toys names first before ours but we can't complain can we?

Just at dinner, she started counting. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, TEN! And she claps and smiles and yeah!

Maegan's just growing up and it's exciting seeing all these moments.

Amazing how fast a baby grow up.

Too fast. :o)

A nightmare named Croup

What makes a dad upset with his baby?

Very little actually. Can't really think of the last time I was that upset with Maegan until today.

It's been a month since I last blogged and lots have happened since my 100th post. Apart from Maegan spouting more words and increasingly becoming more intelligent, I've also traveled to New Zealand and back, trying to save the world in the meanwhile, somehow. :o)

One thing that did happen is Maegan contracted Croup last weekend when we decided on a little holiday at Rasa Sentosa.

How she got it and where she got it I'm not sure but she certainly cough real bad, whizzes like a Arctic seal and ran very high fever. So much so that we brought her to A&E when we got home.

What made me mad? Maegan's refusal of medication.


What seemed to be a ease last time is now a pain. Maegan refuse to take any of her medicine. She shakes her head, says no, pushes the syringe away and bawls when we try to force the medication down. To no avail anyways because she just spits it out instantly.

We've tried everything. From humour to anger, from using cups to empty Yakult bottle, she knows it's the dreadful medicine and no matter what we do, she says "No!"

The frustration comes when you cannot quite help her understand that she needs this medicine to get well and it pains your heart as a dad to see her suffering while not being able to talk her into taking the one thing that would make her well.

Best part of it all, the medicine actually smells good. Pretty sure it taste good too.

I'm actually at a lost on what to do.

So I'm surrounded by a sick baby refusing her medicine, a wife who is trying everything she knows, a helper who pleads with Maegan to take her medication and grandparents who have no clue as well in what seems like a holiday turned nightmare.

If you have any ideas, tricks, pliers, clamps that can make a baby take her medicine, please save me from my misery and tell me how.

Everyone tells me parenting is hard but no one told me it can be painful at times.

Reaching 100

This marks my 100th post on this blog.

It's amazing that in the last 15+ months since the arrival of little miss Maegan, so much has happened, so much stories to tell and so many pictures to show how our little baby is growing up to be a little princess.


It has truly been an amazing time and it promises to be even more exciting especially with the "Terrible Two" phase coming around pretty soon for us.

I'm sure there will be many more stories I would be blogging about me being dad. So till the next 100 posts, have fun reading. Hope it brings you many smiles as it did mine.

:o)

A Sonny Obesession

Seriously, why are people obsessed with having boys?

Reason for my asking? Well, we've just found out today that Daphne's expecting another girl and the best part is that we're really excited about it.

But not quite some.

I sms my family to let them know the news only for my mum to call me back and say "Nevermind. It's okay. Girl also good."

The problem is, I am very happy with a girl. Maegan's been a great girl and I'm looking forward to have another one in the family.

Later that day, Daphne told her family about the news and the response that came back was somewhat similar. "It's okay that it's a girl. As long as she's healthy." Spot on but why the lack of enthusiasm.

It's troubling me that people's perception of a happy family is one where you have at least a boy and a girl and if all else being equal, a boy is a minimum.

The more I ponder, the more I realise that silent expectations hover around couples. First the expectation of when, then the expectation of how many, and finally, the expectation of a boy.

Maybe I'm different.

Truth be told, I would love a son. I would love the opportunity of bringing a son up in the ways a guy would. Familiar him with truths about life that only men understand. Important life changing stuff like supporting Liverpool and any team that plays Man U. That Mac is better than PC and why a PS3 is a great educational tool (something that mummies will never understand).

I would be able to tell him what works with girls and what wouldn't and never ever forget a girlfriend's birthday. I would love the day where my son would bring home a girl for family dinner and tell us sometime later that he has proposed.

It would be wonderful to have a son to rough things out with, answering all his questions about being a man and talk about how he intends to propose.

I would love all these memories. These are things that comes to my mind when Daphne was first pregnant with our son. Unfortunately, all these little thoughts were dashed when Mattheus passed away shortly after he was born.

When Daphne was expecting Maegan, we had a trying 9 months. Months of anxiety and worry because we weren't sure what to expect after our first born died. We took each day passed as a step forward in the right direction. We prayed and we hoped and God was gracious and loving to bless us with the most adorable princess.

Today, I look at Maegan and realise that what is important in life is not the wish of a son, but that of a precious child. I'm tempted to write an healthy child but really, every child is precious, healthy or not because the baby in our arms, son or daughter, is every bit our flesh and blood, every bit special and precious.

Do we often think of having a boy? Many times I guess but having gone thru what we have, having another baby in our arms, safe and sound, would in itself, be a great great blessing.

So my frustration and disappointment when people attempts to comfort us when we're having another girl. Perhaps it's that of culture. Perhaps it's that of tradition. Either way, it's a news worth celebrating.

And celebrate I will when my daughter is born. If not for everything else, I get to walk down the church aisle twice.

Now that's worth celebrating. :o)

How can someone so little bring so much joy

It's amazing I tell you.

I was looking thru the shelf of Times Bookstore's bestsellers and found that almost every book on that shelf have to do with how one can make millions of dollars. Either that or how you can find success or happiness.

Walking further into the bookshop, you find aisles and aisles of self-help books on finding purposes in life and the secret to joy and happiness. There is even a book on "The Secret behind the Secret." The fact is, everyone wants to be happy. Almost everything about self-help is about finding inner peace or success which ultimately is, finding joy.

I found out recently that joy comes in small packages.

They come bundled with unlimited moments of funny moments that makes you crack up and laugh. If only they came with an user manual that tells you how to create each moment and replay them.

Many moments are gone in an instant but before you know it, another one comes along.

That's little miss Maegan for you. For me, she's the joy in my life. (if you are wondering why not my wife, it's because it's the obvious that she IS the joy of my life :o) phew!)


Every day without fail, she would have a funny smile, a funny action, a funny sound or expression that makes you smile with joy. No need for juggling of balls or red nose clowns, little miss Maegan just have the habit of making people laugh.

Walking into the lift in church, she would look up at all the adults and see a stranger staring down at her. Without any reservation, she smiles with her sweetest smile and waves hi. The stranger smiles, laughs and waves back.

Yet in another lift, this time while we were shopping, Maegan in my arms started to recite the words she knew, answering each of our questions. "Can you say Daddy?" And her reply ... "da da di" "Can you say mummy?" "Ma MA!" "Can you say Auntie Nina??" "Na Na!" ... "Maegan, can you say Gong Gong?" ... a pause ... "MA MA!"

All of us laughed in the lift. Including 4 strangers witnessing all the happenings. As we were leaving the lift, the elder stranger said "Ma Ma!" and everyone started laughing again. Including little miss Maegan waving goodbye.

I can really go on and recall all the funny episodes we have like her special face when you ask her "Maegan, show daddy your funny face?" and grins with intensity she does.

Much more than the millions of dollars people keep wanting to get, perhaps joy is found in the littlest of things, or in my case, family.

I'm not saying that having millions of dollars is not good. I wouldn't mind having a couple myself which no doubt will bring me much joy. But if you were to ask me to choose between my daughter or a million dollars, I have no doubt that Maegan brings me more joy in the last 15 months than a million dollar would ever bring in my lifetime.

It is truly amazing. How can someone so little brings so much joy.

The fact is, they do. :o)

Where's the tooth fairy?

It's all so sweet in the movies.

Little girls asking their mummy about the tooth fairy and how they would place their fallen milk tooth under their pillow in wait for the fabled fairy to take it away or change it into something exciting.

What the movie never shows is how the tooth in that small little girl first come out. Now that would make a great movie.

It starts with a little stub that slowly makes it's way out into the wonderful world we live in. But not before creating excruciating pain for the little girl, breaking out into high fever and never ending sleepless nights for the parents.

That's our little miss Maegan this past week. Her little mouth has new friends. Yes, it's friends, not friend.


Since I'm not God and not very good at making teeth grow, I shan't complain about the timing of these three little tooth making their way out AT THE SAME TIME!

If one is not painful enough, Maegan has three popping out at the same time resulting in fever hitting 39.6 celcius and waking up almost every other hour for the past three nights.

She would cry for a good 30 mins before dozing off and shortly, the pain strikes and the crying starts all over again. Your heart aches when you hear her cry and not able to do anything about the pain makes it even harder to take.

So you start wondering if there is really such a thing as a tooth fairy and why does the fairy only come when the tooth drops out and not when it starts coming out.

If only movies shows the whole story. New dad's like me will probably be better prepared for the coming of the tooth (or in our case teeth).

For now, I'll just have to keep hugging Maegan when she cries at night and wonder why God chose to grow all three teeth at the same time and why the tooth fairy never come when she's needed.

2 1/2 Dreams

This is Day 9.

Yup. I've been in California now for 9 days and tomorrow, I'm finally heading home. YEAH!

So much has gone on this past 9 days being a part of SuperCamp San Marcos with about 100 high school kids from all over USA in a high energy program that I wish was done in Singapore the way they do it. Many friendships being built and many stories to tell when I get home.

Today, of all the 9 days, was unique.

Today, I got to fulfill 2 1/2 of my little dreams that I had.

Today I visited Hollywood. :o)

Superficial some might say but I've always wanted to visit Hollywood. Being a film student and a movie lover, I'm attracted to the place. Kodak Theatre, home of the Oscars, is somewhat a pilgrimage for all film students with Cannes probably being the other place of a pilgrim's journey.


So today, I stepped my foot onto the steps where many celebrities have walked. Not wanting to pay obscene amount of money to see the inside, I'm content with walking around the place and soaking in atmosphere of Hollywood Boulevard.

The other dream that I had was to see the big Hollywood sign for myself. Not just in the movies or on pictures but to see it with my own eyes. Following the directions on my GPS, I found myself driving towards it with much excitement only to realise that it actually looks quite small from the road. (I'm sure there's a better spot somewhere but I'm a contented man)


The third dream that I've always had as a child was to visit Disneyland. During this trip in California, I've looked at the schedule hoping to find a free spot to visit but the program just doesn't allow any sightseeing apart from Day 9. And even then, there just wasn't enough time.

Funny enough, the long drive from LA back to our campsite at San Marcos meant that we have to drive past Disneyland and stopping there for a break after an hour drive isn't that bad an idea after all. So off I detoured happily onto Disneyland drive and speeding into the driveway into the magic kingdom.

Unlike all fairytales in Disneyland, my ended quite differently. That's where the 1/2 dream is about. As I drove into the place, I realised that the world famous castle gate is hidden behind this humongous multistorey carpark that you need to pay to enter. I was content just to catch a glimpse but all I saw was this carpark and a pink exit ticket stuck to my windscreen saying, thanks for coming to Disneyland. That was it. The closest I ever got to visit the magic kingdom.

Still, 2 1/2 dreams fulfilled in one afternoon is quite an achievement.

The only downside of today is that all this travelling made me miss Daphne and Maegan a whole lot more today. Walking all by myself through Kodak Theatre and Hollywood was fun but it wasn't meaningful because I couldn't share it with them. Seeing the Hollywood sign was great but Daphne wasn't around for me to complain how small the sign looked.

The only good thing about missing Disneyland is that now, I get to enter the kingdom like a kid when Maegan is old enough for me to bring her. That would be fun.


I realised that after a while, all the excitement and joy of doing fun stuff like being in Hollywood is only meaningful when you have someone you can share with. I didn't even bother going into Universal Studios or Warner Studios because I wanted them to do it together with me.

So this Day 9 of SuperCamp, I got the chance to fulfill 2 1/2 dreams of mine.

I still enjoyed and utterly grateful for dreams fulfilled. Even if Disneyland now resembles the HDB Multistorey carpark back in Singapore.

I'll fulfill the other half of that dream someday.

This time, as a family. :o)

Turning 30

I'm 30.

Yes. The dreaded 30 finally arrived and what makes it even more ironical is I celebrated my birthday twice. Yes, I had two 7th Julys because I was flying from Singapore to LA crossing the international dateline. After boarding the plane on 7th July, I landed in LA, 2 planes, 3 airports and 18 hours later, on 7th July.

God's sense of humour is always second to none.

I can't ask for more really. I have been blessed over the last 30 years with many ups and downs in life like many. More ups than downs really.

On the family front, I have a beautiful wife who by now you would have known is expecting our third child.

It's a whole new experience for me now being dad at 30. Like many of the young people I teach says, I'm getting old but the fun seems to be only beginning.

I'm getting the chance now to blog about my journey of having Daphne being pregnant (this blog only started when Maegan was born) and the many fun and crazy things we say to the baby even at this stage of pregnancy.

It's exciting times ahead for us as a family and thanks for all the well-wishes and congratulations and happy birthdays. If you believe in prayer at all, do pray for me, Daphne, Maegan and "baby-in-there".

:o)

Been busy ...

Enough said. :)

Little Miss No No

Ever wondered why babies say no so easily?


Well, I've always thought it was because of the ease of saying the word but truth is more because of us as parents. Well, not just us but almost everyone else.

"No no Maegan!" seems to ring almost everyday, repeatedly at our house or when we go shopping or lunch and dinners by almost everyone.

"No no Maegan, no touching the bowl."
"No no Maegan, no climbing on the fan."
"No no Maegan, no taking daddy's handphone"
"No no Maegan, no playing with the remote"
"No no Maegan, no opening the car door!"
"No no Maegan, you can't watch the dvd now. It's too late!"

The list goes on and on.


Recently, my staff and I were looking at some shoes for Maegan after lunch when they chanced upon the t-shirt which says "My name is not No-No!".

How funny and apt.

And yes, I did what all fathers would probably do. I bought it without giving a second thought.

I'm still waiting for the day she say yes. Can anyone tell me how soon that will be?

"No no" says Maegan. :o)

More than words

Every so often, Maegan surprises us with new vocabulary beyond the unrecognizable words she mumbles. More than just the words spoken, the way she says it makes fun to hear.

Here's some recent words. I've added the actual translation just in case.

1. No
2. There
3. Da Da (Daddy)
4. Mi (Mummy)
5. Nana (Auntie Nina)
6. Mama (Daphne's mum)
7. Ma! (Martin's mum)
8. ilk (Milk)
9. Oh-oh
10. Baoon (Balloon)
11. More

Brings us a big smile each time she says something we understanding.

Especially "Da-da". :o)

A Daddy's Perspective

If you are wondering why the lack in new posts on this blog, well, let's just say that time wasn't very much available with all my events happening and being hospitalised last week didn't help the blogging opportunities either.

Yup, I was hospitalised for a never-going away thumping headache that got the doctors worried enough to make sure I was under intense painkillers and close observation for a good 6 days. Good news is that the headache did go away but the bad news is I still need the painkillers. At least for a while.

Doctors diagnosis? Well, no specific apart from stress induced. It seems that I was overworking. Perhaps I was. Hence this post.

You see, I visited a friend's wake yesterday who passed away because of cancer. He was in his 50s and his wife and all three of his children were friends of mine.

As Daphne and I sat there talking to his wife and kids, a familiar picture of a dad that works hard so that his family gets a good life emerges. Dad builds a business that provided for the children's education and quality of life and now lies in peace nothing more than 10 metres away from where we sat.

His daughter said many things about her last moments with dad and especially about how she wishes he could have enjoyed the fruits of his labour. Almost subconsciously and unrehearsed, I gave a very quick reply.

My reply caught even me by surprised to be honest. I said to her that she was his fruit of his labour and she don't know how much he enjoyed his children which made all his hard work worth it.

My dad passed away due to a heart attack when he was 47 and again, a similar story emerges of a dad that overworked. Without a shadow of doubt, my dad's fruits of labour wasn't the company nor the work, it was us, his children. It was his family and dad never hid that fact.

Fast forward 13 year since his passing, I sat in that chair, now as a dad, giving a response that perhaps makes me realised how much being dad really means.

What often brings great satisfaction and pleasure like a new playstation (which is still a good idea) or buying a new golf club pales in comparision to the ability to afford gym classes for Maegan and now, perhaps graduating her into another program called Growing Up Gifted.

I guess what brings me joy now is to see Maegan grow with opportunities to excel and more importantly enjoy and being able to afford her that brings satisfaction, justifying the late nights and hard work.

But the more I ponder, the more I wonder what thrills Maegan more? Another fun learning environment or having her dad around when she has her own children. I presume the latter.

Given my family history, I've always joked that every year pass 50 would be a bonus year but I guess after my recent stay in the hospital, I like to try having many more bonus years. Not for my sake but for Daphne and Maegan and our children, and possibly grand-children to come.

I still like to give Maegan all that will help her grow and have fun but I like to be around for that. It does mean I have to slow down (which is not very easy for me but I'll try) and stay healthy. It also means ordering my work hours to make sure I have enough energy each day to play with her and take her to classes she's enrolled for.

It's a tall order but I believe it's worth the effort.

Just this past week, my counterparts from Australia and New Zealand were in town for our regular country leaders meeting and they got very concerned about my health. We love each other because we are more family than colleagues and they like many others are telling me that it's time to slow down.

I never got a chance to give this reply but the truth is, there are not many things in this world that is worth putting your heart and soul in. Finding just one cause that ignites that passion is wonderful but being a part of the vision is even more precious.

Doing what I do today at Halogen Foundation is one that I'm passionate about and willing to go that extra mile to make it the best organisation we can be. But there are things more important than that.

My family. Now that's worth giving my life to.

:o)

Thru the YEAR

Day ONE

Week ONE

Month ONE

Month TWOMonth THREE
Month FOURMonth FIVEMonth SIXMonth SEVENMonth EIGHT

Month NINE

Month TEN

Month ELEVEN
Month TWELVE

12 months or 54 weeks or 365 days. Whichever way you count it, it's truly amazing how one baby grows to be a toddling small big girl in that short span of time.

From absolutely needing you for everything to not wanting your hand when she's climbing steps, it is an amazing time thru the YEAR.

Enjoyed every bit of it being dad and in the words of little miss Maegan ....

"More!"

It's official. Maegan's a toddler!

Just in case you didn't realise, Maegan's officially a toddler on 18th May.

:o)

Three hours to One

3 hours.

That's all that stands between Maegan and her turning one. It all seems so fast. Not too long ago, I was snapping photos away in the delivery suite while Daphne was pushing hard for our little one to come and now, in 3 hours time, she would turn one.


It's funny how I decided to blog at this time of the night. Typically at about 9pm, I'll either be coming home from my in-laws place or showering and getting ready for TV. But not tonight. I just wanted to blog about how I'm feeling about Maegan turning one. It's just coincidental that it's three hours time.

In this past 11 months and 30 days, we've seen little miss Maeagan grow from a crying baby in our arms into the little walking princess she is now. Troddling along everywhere saying "More" to every passing adult hoping for one more jump into the air.

She has grown from needing everything from us to saying please each time she enters our car so sweet that we can't but turn on her favourite DVDs for her journey home.

She has grown from a helpless baby confined to the four walls of our home in the first few weeks to a little girl who has more immigration chops on her passport entering Malaysia then her parents combined, travelled all the way to Kuala Lumpur, twice, and flew thousands of miles to New Zealand. All before one.

It's been an incredible experience for our little miss Maegan. More so for us as parents, especially me being dad.

This 11 over months have been nothing short of a crash course on parenting. Both learning how to dote and nurture our little girl but also learning how to cope with doting grand-parents who never seem to run out of ideas to spoil our little girl. That said, I really don't blame them. I've been told it's their job to spoil their grandchild. My role is to pick up the pieces.

More than a rewarding and fulfilling experience, this 364 days taught me so much. It's given me so much joy that even Liverpool winning the Champions League next week cannot compare (though it might come close). It's given me so much to look forward to and seeing little miss Maegan grow up, right before our eyes.


So before she officially turns one, I wanted to remember this wonderful year. How good it has been and how grateful I am to God for letting us be parents of such a beautiful, smart, cute and often cheeky baby.

Why was blogging three hours before ironical and meaningful? Well, Maegan's elder brother Mattheus was born last January and was only alive to us for just three hours. It was that three hours that Daphne and I learned to cherish life in it's fullness when we held him in our arms. All for three hours.

And now, three hours before our little miss Maegan turns one, I get to remember the three hours that I had with Mattheus and the wonderful 364 days Maegan brought to our lives and more importantly, the future we are going to celebrate together.

It's a bitter sweet moment that is hard to describe. One that is worth soaking in every single minute.

So in three hours, Maeagan turns one and it is the one day her parents will celebrate ...

... with a very grateful heart.

Happy Birthday Maegan. Daddy and mummy loves you heaps. :o)

All I got was a wave

Being dad is at times a bitter sweet experience.

Today is one of those days.

You see, every morning since Maegan started going over to her grandma's for the day, I would carry out our normal routine.

We all wake up in the morning to the loud yells of Maegan wanting to come out and play. Thereafter after breakfast, I'll drive Daphne to her office before sending Maegan to her grandma's place where she will be treated like a queen and eat everything daddy says no to. (seems that in the realm of grandparents, parents lose almost all rights to their children, especially when they are working) and then I head for my meetings or to the office.

That's the routine for almost 11 months now.


All these while, Daphne and I always wondered when Maegan will finally realise that we are going to work and that she wouldn't get to see us until evening time.

We're told that babies don't have the concept of time until almost a year old and the inevitable time seems to be coming where she will not want us to leave for work.

You see, for the last 11 months, we were starting to wonder if she is at all concerned if we were leaving for work. Sometimes parents go through this inferiority complex where our daughter don't seem to want us around. But we always had an excuse each time she turns away from the door to her toys without flinching an eyelid. All these while, we were patient and we believed, the time will come when she grows older.

That day was today. The day where our daughter showed the first sign of crossing the great divide of babyhood to toddlerhood. Today was the day where she makes her point known that she wants her parent to be around.

Like every morning sending Daphne to work, Daphne would say goodbye to Maeagan and give her a big goodbye kiss. Unexpectedly, Maegan wailed almost instantaneously, not wanting her mummy to leave. It was one of those cries that says "Don't leave me mummy". But mummy has to work comes the reply and its heart wrenching stuff that deserves to be on the tele.

In the midst of her crying, I drove to her grandma's preparing for the inevitable that I will have to go through the same torment as my wife. It's hard you know, to leave for work when you baby cries like that.

So reaching grandma's home, I made it a point to carry her and bring her up. Fairly quickly and on cue, she jumps off my arms into that of her grandma's and smiled with the hugest smile. One that says I'm with my best friend now and I can do whatever I want.

Still waiting for the inevitable, I said to my lovely daughter "Okay, daddy's going to work. Enjoy your day ok?" and gave her a huge kiss while half waiting for the same cry to come.

Waiting ...

Waiting ...

Little Miss Maegan looked at me, smiled and simply waved goodbye.

There you have it. A bitter sweet experience of being dad that every guy should go through.

I still can't believe it.

All I got was a wave.

One Small Step

When Niel Armstrong first landed on the moon, the world watched in anticipation of that moment. Through the cracky sound transmitted from the space shuttle, the world heard these immortalised words "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".

For parents, this memorable event is somewhat comparable to us seing our baby walk for the first time. Extreme? Perhaps. But nevertheless true.

Maegan started walking a while back now but she has always relied on everything and everyone. From her bicycle to her grandfather, Maegan always needed something or someone to assist her in walking.

It all starts with them crawling, excitedly and speedily.



When they start realising that they can stand with the help of a table, which usually means sharps corners that scares the living daylight out of parents, they realise suddenly that their legs are meant to do more than crawl. They can move on them.


They start to wobble with each small step to the side and drops to their bum after every two or three steps. (This is where you need to change diapers frequently because if you don't and they fall on their bum while walking ... well, you can imagine the rest)

There comes a time where they finally move fast with the help from walls, chairs, tables, bicycle, balls, heads of other babies etc. It's true. They use almost anything to prop themselves up.

Then the time come when she takes that few steps without any help at all. That is the moment. The moment where the world stands still for parents and grandparents and you stand amaze that this small little fellow can now walk. Albiet a few small steps.


They start asking you to hold their hand (more like they hold your finger) and you guide them along. Like Maeagan, she now progresses to pulling you in the direction she wants to go. Including the very toystore you are not wanting to enter less you leave with your credit card maxed out.

And now the time for Maegan has arrived. The day she found her freedom where she no longer need people around them to walk. She still wants that finger to help but she can pretty much help herself to travel to any direction she wants.

Daphne and I watch in amazement how our little baby has grown to a small little girl walking on her own (still wobbly but good enough) all at the age of 11 months.

What the book didn't tell us is that the joy of seeing your baby walk doesn't last very long. It sort of fizzles the moment you realise that the gym membership you are thinking about isn't needed now with the amount of walking and chasing you need to do with your baby taking her first solo steps.


That's me for you. I'm getting all the exercise I need right now.

As they all say "One small step for Maegan, one giant step for ...

everyone tryng to catch our little miss Maegan."

:o)

The answer to everything is ...

What is the answer to everything?

It seems that life is about finding the perfect answer. An answer, or rather, THE ANSWER to everything is the desire of multitudes.

I recently watched the movie "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and a super computer called Deep Though was created by a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent race of beings to come up with the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.*

Till today, many people still ask this same question. For some, the answer could simply be "living the purpose-driven life". Yet for others, the answer seems to be "money" which itself posts more questions about life than answers.

So what is the ultimate answer? What is the answer to everything?

Maegan recently found the answer. It seems that the very supercomputer Deep Thought was talking about that was destroyed in the movie is very much alive. And in the person of my daughter.


She has the ultimate answer to everything.

All 1o.5 months of her and she has figured out the ultimate answer. Everything she does and every question she is asked, her perfect answer answers it all.

She does it with so much poise that you'll be forgiven if you think she's born with the answer. No one really taught her the answer. She finds it out herself.

She looks at life, looks at us and everything around her and she decided for herself that the ultimate answer is sacred.

Want to know what the ultimate answer is?

It certainly isn't 42 like what Deep Thought said. It's a whole lot simpler than that.

The answer ... to all of life's questions ... the answer to everything as proclaimed by little miss Maegan to our every question to her as parents:

"Want to change your clothes?"
"It's time to shower, let's go shower?"
"Time for bed Maegan. Sleep sleep?"
"Can Daddy carry you?"
"Can Maegan love love daddy (of which she will lean on your chest and gives you this really warm smile)?"

and almost any other question you can think of..

The answer to everything ... according to little miss Maegan is ....

NO.


*Source: wikipedia.org

Maegan's Holiday so far

So, what has little Maegan been up to since she's gotten here?

Well, almost everything you can think of. Seriously.

What has her dad been up to since little Maegan started her holiday? Almost everything you can think of as well, keeping up with little miss Maegan. An almost 10 month old baby girl trying to, literally, find her feet walking.

Since we've arrived, we've travelled from Auckland to Tauranga and spent the night at Mt Maunganui, a popular resort called The Mount. Absolutely beautiful and this is where Maegan came face to face with the beach and her little feet walking on sand for the first time. Can't think of a better place to start her beach experience than The Mount.

Travelling further west, the family travelled from The Mount to Te Puke where Maeagan's love affair with apples blossom with her first taste of freshly plucked apples from the apple tree. It was also here that she's had the chance to roll around and play on grass. Something we hardly, actually, never done in Singapore.

The whole family realised we entered Rotorua when everyone thought that Maegan farted. Really, the whole city does smell like Maegan's now famous farts.

It is at Rotorua Maegan had her first ride on the cable car, went under the rain, felt the chill of the south westerly wind, and come face to face with a Maori Warrior and Hakka. She had the chance to play with real life sheep, all the various breed actually.


She got the chance to touch them, play with the sheep dogs and even saw daddy flew.

She saw her first rainbow and wondered where the pot of gold was, saw a lake bigger than the size of Singapore and visited Gollum at Hobbiton.


And now, we're all back in Auckland where she gets into her element best. Shopping. The next few days, Maegan will do what she does best. Visiting shopping centres after shopping centres with her favourite shopping companion, mummy and grandma.

That's a lot for a 9 month old baby to do in the last few days isn't it? The funny thing, she had to come away to NZ before she played at the beach and rolled on the grass. I wonder why.

So while Maegan does all these fun stuff, what does daddy do?

Not sure actually. Daddy simply drove and drove and drove. The last mileage count ... 600Kms and still counting.

Maegan's on Holiday

It's been planned for quite a while.

Taking Maegan on a plane ride somewhere for a holiday was something Daphne and I always talked about doing. 10 hours flight however, wasn't what we had in mind.


But here we are, in the land of the long white cloud, Aoteaora, New Zealand where Daphne's parents, brother, us and Maegan all planning to have a ball of a time.

The next couple of posts will probably be about Maegan's time here in NZ and how Dapne and I will survive without our helper Nina.

By the way, just in case you are wondering, we did survive the 10 hour flight. But that's another story all together. :o)

Till then, enjoy the photos!

To visit the NZ holiday album, click here >>

Nights out not included?

Can a dad ever have a day out without feeling guilty?

Seriously. If you are a dad, do you often get that guilty feeling of having a rare boys night out? That feeling where you feel you should be home rather than enjoy the company of friends in a pub watching football.

That was me on Saturday.

It took me over a week to plan for Saturday. In the football calendar, Liverpool Football Club playing Manchester United Cricket Club at Anfield is probably one of the biggest fixtures and a match that every fan will make time to watch.

So almost a week ago, I started asking Daphne about our plans for the weekend and preparing her for the inevitable of losing her husband for a night to the boys. After the much expected fuss, "Visa" as my friends would call it was obtained.

And so I went.

It didn't help with Daphne's plans to meet friends being cancelled and all of a sudden, I'm seen as the neglecting husband and father leaving my wife and daughter behind to fend for themselves while I enjoy my pint of Kilkenny watching Liverpool play.

The constant thought of how they are doing kept popping up in my mind. Whether Daphne made any plans for dinner or if she's okay alone with Maegan and our helper Nina. Trust me, it gives me no peace of mind right through the night. (perhaps barring the 14 moments when Liverpool almost scored and the dreadful, inevitable moment when Man U did.)

Why did I feel this way? I truly wonder given the fact that it often happens when I have to work or be at the office and Daphne would take Maegan out for shopping or do stuff. So why is it only when I go out to enjoy myself, I feel guilty.

Does it come with the package for all dads like many of Maegan's toys where "night outs are not included"? That it's okay for a dad to work hard for the family but not enjoy a night without them on your side.


I think back on the many business trips that I needed to do leaving Daphne and Maegan in Singapore for 4 - 5 days stretch but I don't get that guilty feeling compared to Saturday. Hmmm... why does that happen?

Not sure really. Maybe it's a guy's thing. Daphne would once in a while have girls night out and seemingly feel ok about it. But when I do it, it's a different story.

The fact is that I really don't know. Can't quite figure it out but I do know that perhaps it's more self-inflicting than I realise. Perhaps it just how dads are. Wanting to know that they can provide for our family and the only time we will leave them behind is so as to bring home more bacon. Maybe it is truly a guys thing.

Either way, I would like to find out. I need to find out. So if you are an experienced dad out there, do share your secret as I need the answer urgently.

Because come Tuesday, Liverpool plays Barcelona and I have a sneaky feeling that I may be watching it without Daphne and Maegan. And unlike Saturday, I do feel that Liverpool will win and I want to enjoy that win.

So ... helpul hints, anyone? :o)

And the Oscar goes to ...

For the first time in almost 12 years, I'm going to miss the Oscars happening tomorrow 9am Singapore time.

I just love the Oscars. I love the way it's done. I love the somewhat rehearsed "unrehearsed" thank you speeches that normally ends with thanking God for their Oscar winning role that is almost ungodly given the flowery languages that modern films contains.

But I'm going to miss it tomorrow. Why? Because I've got a class scheduled. A breaking of tradition to impact the leaders of tomorrow. I take the latter anytime.

Coming back to why I love Oscars, it's really a love affair with great films. Because great films are worth the time to sit in a cinema over and over again, in awe of the magic of the movies.

Every film has a compelling story plot, lovable protaganist, hated antagonist and the magic of pivotal moment where the whole film almost make or break.

Watching Maegan grow up is almost to me like my love affair with great films and Oscars. It used to be that I would make sure I catch every film nominated for Best Film category before the Oscars, like I would make sure I catch every of Maegan's growing moments.


Watching the role reversal between Daphne and I being sometimes the antagonist and Maegan forever being the protaganist.

And like most great films, it lingers on the minds and conversations of people with almost every conversation starting with "did you see Pulp Fiction?" and exchange that opening line with "Maegan's so cuuuutttee. Who does she looks like?" (duh .. cute ... me .. catch the drift ..hee)

Every so often, a pivotal moment arise where Maegan will either stand on her own without support for almost 20 seconds and her parent's jaws wide open in amazement. Or the recent time where she would utter almost comprehensible words that we would take pains to dicipher as if we were Tom Hanks in Da Vinci Code.

It will make a great film I think simply watching Maegan grow. It's a film that I'll never grow tired of. It's a film that makes you laugh mostly, angry at times at the protaganist, and cry when sad moments gets written.

It will be a film that has everything an epic will hail and more importantly, like all Oscar winning films, great looking actors and actresses.

As Shakespeare would say it "All the world's a stage, and every person plays a part, and mine ...

The happy good looking dad one."

:o) Enjoy your Oscars.

Little Miss Maegan growing up

Something spectacular happened on this third day of Chinese New Year. So much so that I'm going to put aside a number of other happenings to talk about this one thing.

It happened just a few hours ago when little miss Maegan was due for bed. Normally, it would take our helper Nina tens of minutes to carry her, coax her and pat her to bed.

Often, she would fuss and cry until either Daphne or I enters the room to rescue her from the evil clutches of Nina who at that very time means bedtime, something she prefers not to at that moment.

But tonight, it was different. She fussed as usual but also, longer than usual.


Daphne and I were in our room when the same cries emits through our baby monitor and to a point, Daphne asked me to check on her. Perhaps to rescue her again and normally to the sanctuary of our bedroom where she will play until she's ready for bed.

As I prepared myself for the inevitable, the cries suddenly stops and peace decended on earth.

I peeped into Maegan's room to find out what's happening and there was little miss Maegan, lying on her bed rolling with her eyes nicely shut, going to sleep all on her own.

She didn't want Nina to carry her. No patting tonight thank you very much. I'm going to sleep on my own tonight she seems to say.

And sleep she did, on her own without assistance at all.

Wow. Like every good thing, I'm praying, fasting and petitioning God that it will not be a fluke.

I've just checked the moon. Thankfully it's not blue.

So, little miss Maegan is really growing up. It's one night that absolutely made my day.

:o)

p.s. New Album's out by the way. >>

Blogging Memories

When you first start a blog, you often stop and wonder if anyone really takes precious time to read your blog at all. You place counters to see how many people actually viewed it and from what countries. After a while, it starts becoming a routine and whenever you blog, you see your blog's traffic.

As time progresses, the counters start taking a back seat and you find yourself blogging without really worrying about the fact if anyone is actually reading because your blog is more for you. It's your way of keeping memories.

Then comes a time when you know you are in deep trouble when your wife scolds you for not blogging because she spends time reading other people's blogs and you haven't blog for the last few weeks.

It tells you two things. One, at least your wife reads your blog. Two, your subtle hints of getting a XBox 360 is reaching the right ears ... well ... more like the right pair of eyes.

That's me for the last few weeks.

It has been a great start to the year which also means that I'm getting busier. Maegan's growing older which also means that she is getting to be more of a handful. A crying non-crawling baby is a whole lot easier to take care of then a screaming speed crawler. (I'll come to that in another post)

The one thing no one told me about being dad and running a not-for-profit enterprise at the same time is that time becomes the most sought after commodity, displacing many other things, even, money. Apparently, it gets worse as you grow older.

So this Chinese New Year, I'm sneaking time at my brother's place blogging. Maegan's sleeping and everyone else is watching Happy Feat.

I've got so much I want to blog but I just need to find time that I can blog meaningfully. Because this blog is my way of capturing memories that often skips me by each day. So many things that happens between work and family passes me by because I don't take time to sit, remember and reflect all that has happened. The happy moments and sometimes, painful moments. Both very much a part of my memory.

If you are like Daphne, often returning to this blog to see how Maegan is doing, I apologise for the lack of updates. This Chinese New Year on, it should get better.

Because if I don't start blogging, I may miss the many moments that Maegan has in this wonderful phase that she's at. The speedy crawler phase where a blink of the eye often determines if the vase on the living room side table drops or not.

Do pop in once in a while because wherever you are, however often you read this blog, you are very much a part of this memory lane as we see Maegan grow up together.

Hmmm... did I mention anything about Daphne reading about the XBox?

Oh well, nevermind. :o)

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year to you. Our first lunar new year with Maegan. It has been a blast!

Mummy's view of Me being dad

This is not an easy way out but Daphne's latest entry in her blog on AsiaOne brought so much laughter into my life that I have to have it here. :o)

If you do not know, Maegan and Daphne have been a regular feature on www.asiaone.com under Mummy's Diary. It's Daphne's blog and our daughter is famous. Just.

Her latest one is one I must share here.

http://justwoman.asiaone.com.sg/motherhood/diaries/20070123_001.html

Have fun reading. :o)

Shake, rattle and roll.

What's the best way to keep an active young girl occupied?

Enroll her into gym class. That's precisely what we did.

Since discovering her acrobatic abilities to climb, crawl and sit, little miss Maegan has been keeping everyone (especially her grandparents) busy preventing vases from falling and her from hitting her head at tables and chairs. To be precise, the legs of tables and chairs.

And boy can she crawl. Fast, focused and committed. Not just that, she climbs everywhere. From her cot to the sofa. From our living room to her bedroom, Maegan just loves her new found freedom.

Hence our grand plan of giving her a huge place to crawl, fall and roll. Gym class.


Every saturday afternoon, Maegan will be crawling with 13 other babies with parents in tow all shaking, rattling and rolling. Often, the parents provides more amusement than the babies. Us included.

Maegan loves it and I'm clocking that 45mins with her, running around, carrying her and crawling with her as my weekly exercise.

I certainly need it more than her. :o)

Daughter vs Daddy

Daughters have a way of getting the their dad's nerves. Agree?

Maegan surely does.


She has been upset with me recently because I make her sit in her car seat when she obviously doesn't want to.

She refuses to let me carry her, look at her nor play with her because she sees me as the evil dad who refuses to let her have her way.

You know how it's like, you will make all your funny faces, smiles at her, tickle her and when you stretch your hands to her wanting to carrr her, she turns away.

Worse still, when she knows that I'm upset and looking at her, she will look at me for a moment and stretches herself on the shoulder of her mum and cuddles her.

And she's barely 8 months!!!!!!!!!!

The life of being dad. I wonder what it will be like when she's 8 or 18?

Anyone has a crystal ball? :o)

First post of 2007

Now, how should I start this post?

Merry Christmas? Well, a little belated but still, a Merry Christmas to you.

Happy New Year? Well, could be. But I think I'll start my first post of the year with this ...

It's been great being dad.

2006 couldn't have been a better year for me. To be perfectly honest, it's been a trying year on the work front but to become a dad makes everything, every hard work, every sponsorship pitch, every leadership training I've done all worth it.

So many things happened in 2006 that you wonder how to pen everything down but seeing Maegan born tops everything.

I've enjoyed my last 7 months being dad. We celebrated our first Christmas together with Maegan. We woke up on Christmas morning with her on our bed and headed straight to our Christmas tree to open all her presents.

The truth is that she wanted the wrappers more than the presents but still, it was great just opening all our presents together and later in the night, family coming over for our Christmas dinner.

And now, the first day of the new year brings new adventures to come.

Daphne and I are talking about how we are going to celebrate our 30th birthday and how plan to celebrate Maegan's first. We talked about a McDonald's party (For us, not Maegan) and how wonderful the day would be when she turns one.

There's so much to look forward to in 2007. With family, with work. Most of all, I'm looking forward seeing Maegan grows up.

I think it will be fun seeing her start walking. Can't wait for that day.

So this first post of the new year, I'll start with "It's been great being dad."

Because it's true, 2006 couldn't have been any better. :o)

Happy New Year everyone!