Seriously. If you are a dad, do you often get that guilty feeling of having a rare boys night out? That feeling where you feel you should be home rather than enjoy the company of friends in a pub watching football.
That was me on Saturday.
It took me over a week to plan for Saturday. In the football calendar, Liverpool Football Club playing Manchester United Cricket Club at Anfield is probably one of the biggest fixtures and a match that every fan will make time to watch.
So almost a week ago, I started asking Daphne about our plans for the weekend and preparing her for the inevitable of losing her husband for a night to the boys. After the much expected fuss, "Visa" as my friends would call it was obtained.
And so I went.
It didn't help with Daphne's plans to meet friends being cancelled and all of a sudden, I'm seen as the neglecting husband and father leaving my wife and daughter behind to fend for themselves while I enjoy my pint of Kilkenny watching Liverpool play.
The constant thought of how they are doing kept popping up in my mind. Whether Daphne made any plans for dinner or if she's okay alone with Maegan and our helper Nina. Trust me, it gives me no peace of mind right through the night. (perhaps barring the 14 moments when Liverpool almost scored and the dreadful, inevitable moment when Man U did.)
Why did I feel this way? I truly wonder given the fact that it often happens when I have to work or be at the office and Daphne would take Maegan out for shopping or do stuff. So why is it only when I go out to enjoy myself, I feel guilty.
Does it come with the package for all dads like many of Maegan's toys where "night outs are not included"? That it's okay for a dad to work hard for the family but not enjoy a night without them on your side.
I think back on the many business trips that I needed to do leaving Daphne and Maegan in Singapore for 4 - 5 days stretch but I don't get that guilty feeling compared to Saturday. Hmmm... why does that happen?
Not sure really. Maybe it's a guy's thing. Daphne would once in a while have girls night out and seemingly feel ok about it. But when I do it, it's a different story.
The fact is that I really don't know. Can't quite figure it out but I do know that perhaps it's more self-inflicting than I realise. Perhaps it just how dads are. Wanting to know that they can provide for our family and the only time we will leave them behind is so as to bring home more bacon. Maybe it is truly a guys thing.
Either way, I would like to find out. I need to find out. So if you are an experienced dad out there, do share your secret as I need the answer urgently.
Because come Tuesday, Liverpool plays Barcelona and I have a sneaky feeling that I may be watching it without Daphne and Maegan. And unlike Saturday, I do feel that Liverpool will win and I want to enjoy that win.
So ... helpul hints, anyone? :o)
