Daddy's night out

You have one night out to yourself. Your wife's on a work assignment and will be home late. Your baby's with your in-laws and you have the night to yourself. What will you do?

Me? Had a quiet dinner by myself and went straight to pick Maegan up. Boring? Not quite.

You see, I had a grand plan for the night. Perhaps, to call some friends to hang out. Go for a drink. Play Xbox for the whole night and so on. There are so many things I thought about doing so while planning, I came home to shower and decide.

And then it happened. I went to the fridge to get myself a drink and there, stuck on a fridge magnet was Maegan's photo. "How adorable!" I thought to myself and then this thought came "Why look at a photo when you have the real thing waiting for you?"

How true. While there are so many things I could and wanted to do, I do really want to see Maegan and play with her.

I did have a quiet dinner by myself at McDonalds, reading a new magazine I got recently. Once done, I went straight to my in-laws much to the delight of Maegan. It was fun because the moment I got there and saw her, she smiled knowing that daddy is home.


It's a great feeling coming home to your baby. Playing with her and hearing her chuckle. We even had time to try on her new shoes I bought her sometime back. Seeing her wear those shoes really did make my day.

So while Mummy is working, Daddy had a great time with Maegan trying on new shoes. I just hope that our fun time together doesn't create a lifelong love affair with shoes. Then again, with her mum's genes ...

I should have known better. :o)

First times

When a child does something new, who has more fun? Child or parents?

In our case, we did. And what new thing was Maegan doing? For one, she was learning to flip and then, the more dramatic, she started swimming.. well not quite. More like floating.

Two nights ago, Daphne yelled out at me to go into Maegan's room. I thought something had happened and when I went in, I saw Daphne and our helper leaning over the cot laughing and giggling.

The circus act currently showing and performed by Maegan was the First Flip. Yes, she was trying to flip over. I honestly wish I have bought the video-camera I was looking at a few days ago. She was really trying hard and getting frustrated.

Finally, with some help from her dad, she flipped and a round of applause was given for her galant effort. She still kept crying and we kept laughing. It was just great watching her in action.

Today was the dramatic new act. Maegan slipped into her new swim suit, courtesy of her Tua Peh (Big Uncle Terence). She looks really cool and cute. In fact, we had to spend over 10min to decide if she should wear pampers under those swim suit. Won't tell you what we eventually did.


Bought her a new float affectionately called Pinky the Elephant and off into the pool we went.

As I lowered her into the pool, Maegan looked apprehensive at first seeing so much water around her. You have to remember that the largest amount of water is her bath tub. Apprehensive or not, she soon warmed up to the idea and enjoyed her first swim.

She even discovered that she can kick her legs under water while sitting in Pinky and move around.


Truly, it was a great moment for us. While she makes sense of the new experience, we were busy taking photos of this great day. We were cracking up laughing seeing her experience and seeing how cute she is in her swim suit and sitting in Pinky.

Even her rubber ducky had a go in the pool.


I'm not sure if she knows that she is swimming. Perhaps for her, it was just one very long bath time in a somewhat, huge bathtub. But for her parents, it was the world. For me, it was simply precious.

Whenever a child does something new that is fun, I think we as parents do have more fun than them. Watching them is itself, a joy.

Oh, if you are wondering about the pampers, we decided against it. Since pampers soak water, we figured that the pampers might weigh so heavy that Maegan may sink. :o)

Maegan's growing

How much has Maegan grown? A lot.

This is her at 5 days.

This is her at 3 months.


How much has she grown? What do you think? :o)

Working from home

Working from home seems very different now that I'm a dad.

For almost a year, I worked out of my home having just started Young Leaders Foundation Singapore. Back then, it was just me and my laptop at home. I could concentrate on what I was doing, listen to the music I want, and at times rest when I'm tired. All in the comfort of my own home.

Yesterday, I had to stay at home in the morning because my mum was late and out came my laptop. Sitted on my sofa, I managed to reply emails, surf and prepare a presentation. But it feels absolutely different.

Why? Maegan was staring at me while I typed away.

Recently, she cries whenever she is left alone. Perhaps like me, Maegan loves having people around her and whenever she cries and fuss, I would walk over, sit down beside her and simply look at her. That is when magic happens. She stops crying, stares back in my eyes and ... smiles.

So here I was, typing away trying very hard to concentrate on the presentation while Mozart was playing in the background because it's Maegan's Bose System these days. No longer mine.

And while I work at my presentation, I get the occasional "Ah gu", the many sounds and chuckle that she makes lying in her bouncy chair staring at her dad.

What do I do? I stop what I'm doing, look at her and she what she's up to. The moment my eyes reach in contact with hers, she stops and smiles and starts "Ah guing" away happily. Obviously pleased with herself that she managed to get Daddy's attention.


Did I manage to reply my emails? Yes. Did I manage to finish my presentation? Nope.

Working from home with a baby that loves to play with you every moment she is awake may not be the most ideal situation but, just being able to still do work while having her company is enough to make me keep trying.

Especially when the going gets tough, just looking at her smiling at you, makes every hard work you put in worth it. :o)

Mummy's back to work

The dreadful day has finally arrived for Daphne and I. A day that we weren't really looking forward to. One that Maegan certainly wasn't happy to see. But alas, it has arrived.

Daphne went back to work today. And boy was it tough.


I guess it doesn't really hit you until it happens. Since the night before, Daphne was already anxious about how she would do when we need to take Maegan to her grandmother and when we finally arrived at grandma's place early this morning, the inevitable happened.

Daphne held on to Maegan tightly and started crying. She don't usually do that. Not that kind of cry at least but she did. As if she know that Mummy's leaving her for the majority of the day.

That did Daphne in. She started crying too. I know it would be hard for her but I didn't know it will be so difficult. Daphne really felt bad about leaving Maegan behind. Having spent almost 3 months at home with Maegan, leaving her and not seeing her for a good part of the day is a new thing for her.

I'm sure Daphne would cope but is seeing Daphne cry broke my heart. Seeing Maegan cry, somewhat knowing that mummy's going to work, shattered it.

A start of a new episode in our lives as parents. A teary start but you know what, coming home has now a new added meaning to Daphne. And trust me, the excitement is not me. :o)

Daddy 401

I've just graduated into Daddy 401 yesterday. Not quite 501 yet but getting there. Reason? I've just showered Maegan for the first time. And in Daphne's words, I've done well. And Maegan didn't complain.


Why the sudden decision to shower my daughter? Well, blame it on the tele. The night before, I was watching the BBC documentary "Child of Our Time" with Daphne one ArtsCentral. It's a great documentary that followed the development of 5 toddlers since their birth and how parents play a huge role in their growing development.

In this particular episode that we watched, the child pyschologist said that children who are bathed by their dads often than not, grow up to be more confident kids. It's something about the emotional connection that takes place when dad's bathe their kids.

The program also says that kids with active dads develop their physical abilities better because of the physcial play dads often have with their children. The throwing of the baby up in the air, the wrestling on the floor, the running around all enhances the physical growth of the child.

So with a "they seem to know what they are saying" attitude, I told Daphne that I will bath Maegan sometime soon. And that soon was the next day when I came home after work.

All my lesson at Thomson Medical Centre paid off. I knew the steps. I held her tight. Soaked the cloth and cleaned my daughter.

She stares at her dad, talks a little and enjoys that little moment she had with me. Special moment. One I'm sure with more to come.

And yes, she did seem a little more confident after that. How do I tell? Well .... I just like to think so. :o)

Faulty Remote Control

As mentioned previously, there's so much that took place during our first family holiday that I'll take some time to share a couple more interesting episodes.

For a start, Maegan the faulty remote control.


Every remote control has a function. It allows you to turn to different channels on a TV or skip differerent tracks on a DVD player. It allows you to turn the volume loud or soft, gradually by the pressing of buttons. Such is the wonderful technology of remote control.

Sometimes, remotes gets faulty and don't function the way it should. Much like Maegan on this trip.

She can do wonderful things like play, smile, laugh, cry, bluff cough (where on earth did she learnt that I don't know), scream, talk (rather ah gu gu) and everything but during this trip, her remote is faulty. She either cries (loudly I might add) or she smiles (makes you melt).

Either she is very happy or she is very upset. Nothing in between. Much like a faulty remote, we can't seem to turn the volume up or down. It's either LOUD or silent. However you try to troubleshoot, it just doesn't seem to work. Even changing batteries (diapers in this case) don't help much either.

So while cramping in all the shopping, food and the occasional sleep, taking care of Maegan was our top most priority. With her being a faulty remote control, it took much more energy and focus to attend to her.

Sigh... The wonderful world of fatherhood. One thing's for sure, much like a remote control (faulty or not), daughters are inseparable from their dads.

:o) Like me.

A wonderful break

How do you sum up a wonderful 3 day holiday? It's hard really.

We've done so much in the last 3 days. Gone on a holiday for the first time as a family. Maegan's first real holiday (she did go into Johor Bahru once with mummy but since Daddy wasn't there, it didn't count :o) hee). Did it without our helper which is somewhat a challenge but we passed with flying colours. Lot's of milestones in this one holiday but most important of all, we managed to spend time as a family. Something of a little luxury with me being busy the last few weeks.

Togetther with Daphne's parents and brother, our journey up to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia was somewhat a simple affair apart from the one moment that made our day, Maegan wearing her first sunnies. A gift from her uncle Ernest.


The moment she wore it, we cracked up laughing.

Moving around K.L. on public transport was another challenge with a pram, a macpac baby carrier, diaper bag and an oversupply of diapers. Oh yes.. not forgetting carrying a baby around. The good thing about moving around with the above, you get priority. We never had to queue because the barriers are too small for prams to go through so we get to push it pass a gate they open for us.

Eating was somewhat of an experience as well. Between her grandma, mummy and me, Maegan loves to choose to wake up while we are eating. That means either one of us needs to swallow our lunch down quickly to make sure she don't get the eyes of every diner staring at us.

Between Maegan's crying and laughing, we managed to get some shopping done, eat some fantastic out-of-the-world meals, get some decent sleep and take some photos. Not a lot I realised but enough to prove our holiday stint.


So how do you really sum up a holiday? I guess you just don't do that sort of thing. Holidays are moments to be treasured. Not just a summary I guess. But if you really want to put me in a corner and ask for one word that sums up our last few days, I guess it would be ....

Timely.

Maegan speaks

She spoke.

Ok, I know I'm jumping ahead and proclaiming this but Maegan started talking. Yes, they are just mumblings but she was looking at me and talking to me. She's telling me something.

It's great fun. I went to my In-Laws place for dinner and went straight into the room to play with Maegan the moment I arrive. And there she was lying there knowing that her dad has come home. Her eyes looked around and matched the voice that was talking to her.

She smiles and started ... ahh guu ...

There you have it, she talked. I was estatic! We don't understand what she is saying but she started talking. It's so exciting. And I continued talking to her, telling her how much I missed her at work and she kept talking back.

I wonder what she is saying.

"Daddy, you have bad breath!" Don't think she's that smart yet.

"Daddy, it's been a while since I saw you!" Quite possibly given that I was away so often the last two weeks.

"Daddy, I missed you today" Hmmm... I'll take that.

And you know what Maegan? Daddy missed you a whole lot today too. :o)

Home to normality

How much does a baby grow in one week? HEAPS!

Saying that I'm busy this last one week is a little of an understatement. Leaving home at 7am and back at about 2am does make watching Maegan grow quite hard.

While One Degree Asia was a success in itself, missing watching Maegan grow in the last one week was a bummer. Had to live with it but hopefully it doesn't happen too often.

Yesterday morning was the first morning I got to really play with her. She's really attentive now. She notices me coming in her room when Mummy is playing with her and her eye focuses on me really well.

It's quite a feeling seeing her fixing her eyes on you and smiles when I start talking to her. The fact that she tries to talk back was worth a broad grin on my face. She shakes her head and moves her legs wanting to play with her dad who seemed to be missing for ages.

Yesterday, she even tried to stand up while Daphne's holding her, perhaps trying to show her dad that she is a big girl now. Strong, cute and adorable. All of which her dad agrees!

Since last week and mid week, I reckon that Maegan has put on at least 3/4 of a kilo. She's getting bigger, stronger and ... do you say taller or longer? I wonder when do we actually change our terminology from longer to taller. Either way, she's grown heaps.

All said and done, I'm glad I'm finally home to normality. Life seems in order now that I can wake up at a time I get to play with her and kiss her goodbye when I leave for home and come back to a baby that smiles at her dad and haggling for some playtime.

Work continues to be busy but at least, I get to be dad again, and not just being boss.

World Peace for Maegan

If you are wondering what happened to me? Well, I've been stuck at One Degree Asia. Yes, it's work. Just a fancy sounding name. But, work. Meaningful work.

With over 200 delegates from 18 different countries in Singapore for the 5 day festival, you can imagine how busy all of us at Young Leaders Foundation are. Beyond that, I was also trying to organise my wife's suprise birthday party and my mum's 60th birthday party all within two weeks of my event. And I've barely survived.

Where's Maegan in this whole thing? Well, I've basically been leaving home and coming home to a sleeping baby. Today was no exception. But one with a little surprise.

I've just came home from the accomodation where foreign delegates are staying and each time I meet with them for chats, each time I feel energised and feel that Maegan will have a good world to live in.

Barely 30min ago, I was sitting on a bench with 5 guys. Nothing spectaciular except that they are Pakistani's and Indians. Seeing them laugh and joke with each other is an incredible sight to watch.

Thinking about Maegan, I think she will have a good world to live in. Where this generation of young people can create history by learning love and forgive. I keep thinking about what the future holds for her.

And if my convesations with these delegates are to go by, I think we can potentiall have peace in our world. I like that especailly when Maegan is going to be here for a long time.

So yes, I miss Daphne and I miss Maegan heaps. But hopfully Maegan will look back and see today what her dad has accomplished can make her proud.

That would be nice. :o)

p.s. do check back once in a while, have been busy at the festival. Normal frequency will resume tomorrow.

One Hour

one hoiu.r wsas al;l i hasd in betwren meetytings,.

Between MCYS at Thomson Road to Office at Chinatown, I have one hour to decide what to do. Usually, I'll drive into town and walk around in my playground seeing toys that I dream to have. It's fun walking around seeing new stuff and comparing prices. The playground? Funan the IT mall.

Or, I would normally head back into office squeezing in dinner downstairs at the noodle store while thinking about what we need to accomplish at my next meeting.

But today, I came home. Why? Because I miss Maegan and Daphne.

With One Degree Asia coming up just next tuesday, I've been at the office much later than I normally have. Even if I'm at home, I'm always on the computer checking emails, replying emails and working on documents needed for the Festival. But today, this one hour I have, I came home to see Maegan.

And my reward? A smile when I said "Hello!".

I got to carry her, play with her, cuddle her all within this one hour that I have. And Maegan was great. She was being wiped clean by my helper when I first came back, she changed into a really beautiful outfit and she laid in her cot looking at me when I talked to her. She's simply adorable.

It's a great feeling being dad. The time you spend, the little that you have sometimes, with your child is wonderful. I enjoyed coming home in between meetings. If I get the chance, I think I'll do it again. No doubt about that.

And yes, I even had time to write this post. See the first sentence? That's when I was blogging while carrying Maegan.

Hmm.. you can say I was B.U.I. - Blogging Under Influence. :o)

Happy Birthday Mummy!

Today, Maegan turns two months old and tomorrow, Daphne turns 29.

Yes, my lovely wife whom I am well pleased turns 29 tomorrow. She has finally caught up with me. She's been chasing me since day one you see. :o)

I've got everything planned for tomorrow. I've asked Janice to help me book the restaurant that she likes called Bukunero but couldn't even get thru and we turned to our next alternative which was Wild Rockets which I knew she liked. Wanted to keep it a surprise but it seems that after 3 years of marriage and a baby later, you sort of want her to have what she likes and not simply to surprise her with something she may not like (which sometimes happens).

So I found two of her favourite restaurants, booked us for tomorrow's dinner and made the choice available to her. Wild Rockets or Restorante Valentino. Both of which she mentioned so many times but we never had the chance to try. Still waiting for her choice. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Funny thing about celebrating birthdays after being parents is that you change the way you celebrate for each other.

What do I mean? Well, I'll be saying to her "Happy Birthday Mummy" instead of my usual "Baby". It's the same for me when Daphne took me out for dinner and wished my "Happy Birthday Daddy." The fact is, we actually enjoy calling each other that.

It has become a term of endearment of sorts. Interesting isn't it?

The other thing is the amount of planning needed to spring a surprise.

It used to be just two of us but now, we have a helper and a baby that needs milk every 3 hours. Dinner needs to be well timed for in between feeds the plan is that once she gets her 6pm feed, we farm Maegan out to her grandparents and I'll whisk my darling wife to the restaurant of her choice, spend 30mins choosing from the menu, 3omin to gobble down the food, 30min to finally get the attention of the waiter to serve dessert, get the check, rush back to grandma's to pick Maegan up to whisk her home for her 9pm feed. Phew... the day hasn't even started!

I guess what my friends say is true. Our lives do change a great deal when our baby arrives. Ours have changed quite a bit. But somethings don't change.

Celebrating Daphne's birthday is still a big thing for me. And now that she is the mummy of my daughter, my love for her seems to grow even more.

Even if her breast is now exclusively reserved for my daughter and that her attention now is split between me and Maegan, I love my wife because she's the best wife I ever had. She's my favourite wife. She is .... oops... she's my only wife :o)

Honestly, I count myself a very blessed man. I have a wife whom I love, who I can count on when I'm down. Who lets me play XBox when I'm stressed. Who massages me when I'm tired, pick up my rubbish I leave behind, reminds me not to forget my mobile when I leave home, gets breakfast done for me when I wake up, calls me in the office just to see how I'm doing and more importantly, love me despite all the noise I make when I sleep.

Many friends never fails to remind me how blessed I am. How true.

I'm a blessed man to have Daphne as my wife. And this blog being my journey as dad, I think it's appropriate for me to say on record how much I appreciate my wife and how much I love her. For my journey being dad wouldn't be complete without Daphne being mum.

So baby, if you are reading this, I love you heaps! :o)

Happy Birthday Mummy! From Maegan and Me.

Feeling jealous but ...

What do you do when your baby cries in your arms but stops when your helper carries her? How would you react when your baby looks for your helper instead of you? You gave birth to her, you paid for her delivery, you work your guts off buying her all she needs and she feels more comforatable with someone else.

Jealous? Yup, that's how we feel sometimes. Daphne and me.

In the modern world of parenting, ok ... more so in Singapore, having a helper means a lot of what we parents used to do daily is being assisted by a helper. She showers her, cleans her, change her, carries her and soothes her. Everything except feeds her.

With two parent, one working till late, and the other, heading back to work, there isn't very much choice we have but to have a helper we can trust. And honestly, I'm thankful that Maegan likes Nina. I'm even more thankful that Nina dotes on her.

But do we still feel jealous? We do.

It doesn't change a bit how we are as parents. We still carry her, we still love her, we still cuddle her, we still play with her and Daphne still feeds her. Jealous we may feel, I acutally think that it's not that big a deal.

Really, one can outsource care giving but one can never outsource parental love. And a child, learns over time to discipher the difference. There is a huge ocean between care and love. And jealous we may be of how good she is with Nina, I know for certain that no one can replace the love we have for her. Not Nina, not her cousins, not even her grandparents.


There are only two persons in this world will love her more than anything else. And that's us as parents. And even at her age, I think Maegan knows that. She knows that we will love her no matter what she does, she knows she can be naughty with us, she know she can complain to us and keep us awake all night, she knows she can cry till we drive her all the way to Beauty World in our car just so that she would sleep. She knows. And maybe because she knows, she makes full use of it, like making us pamper her more!

So for now, I'm happy that Maegan has someone that takes good care of her when Daphne and I are out working (Daphne's starting work soon by the way). But when 7pm comes, the two persons that comes home are the only ones that can love her the way we do.

And just in case you wonder who they are, it's us. :o)

A Daddy's Prayer

Every dad has a prayer. This is mine.

Our baby who ought to be in bed,
Maegan be thy name.
Thy poo-poo come,
Thy wail be down,
In here, as it is in the neighbours.
Give us today our daily smile.
Forgive us our inabilities,
As we forgive all the sleepless night
you have given us.
Lead us not into believing your bluffing cries,
But deliver us from your grandma
For you are the cutest and prettiest baby,
Today and forevermore.
Amen.

Prayer does wonders. Not sure about the above but at least it should bring a smile to someone. For that, I'm happy. Amen.

A Singaporean Dad

What makes a Singaporean Dad?

For one, the rate in which he starts making big decisions about house, career and the future just so that he can get his daughter into the primary school of choice.

I cannot recall any of my Aussie, Kiwi or any daddy friends that I have who are not Singaporeans, or at least not married to a Singaporean, think the same way as we Singaporean Dads do. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this.

You see, my conversation with Daphne over lunch today centred on Maegan's future. We are wondering if we really have to send her to a PAP kindegarten or can we afford to send her to a more renowned one like Julia Gabriels which charges an unbelievable price of $800 per month. That's what I will pay for Maegan for two whole years if she goes to a PAP kindergarten like her old man. A proven brand name that has been in prominence since independence and boast of Singapore's largest alumni. Meet any two friends and chances are that two of you studied in PAP kindergarten.

Knowing that we are probably very capable of affording the best for Maegan, i.e PAP Kindergarten (did I mention that they are a proven brand name and boast of the largest alumni in Singapore?), our discussion moves on to the primary school that she should go.

In Singapore, staying within a 1 or 2 Km radius from a school means you have the highest chance of getting a place in that school. We stay 1 metre away from a really good school. St Michaels Primary School. Problem is, it's a boy's school.

So we start identifying which school we want her to go. The Raffles Girls Primary, the Nanyang Primary, the Henry Park primary and ... we stopped. I forgot that there is this really stupid and unfair ruling that you need to own the address that your child is registered and you cannot rent the place. That effectively rules out a majority of us who are not in the position to afford houses in within 1 or 2km near these schools. Ridiculous rule.

So where does it leave us? Many other primary schools that are very capable of educating Maegan the same way as they did for me and Daphne. Perhaps, in our fascination with what we think is good, we fall into the very trap that makes us all Singaporean. In that the future of our children is crafted, engineered and decided based on meritocracy and status, in what WE deem to be best for our kids. And the best part of it all, the child is all of 8 weeks old.

What makes a Singaporean Dad? A bloke that peers into the future of his child and imagining possibilities but constantly peeps into his bank account and realise, some are but mere dreams.

Sad but true.

Getting Unstuck

Maegan's getting more talkative today. She's been making all her chattering noise with her grandma who seems to be the person that she likes to "talk" to. She also found a new game with Daphne in which she would have milk dripping from her mouth and when Daphne wipes her face, she would smile. Seems to be spilling milk just so that her mummy would take the hanky to wipe her. Just like a game.

All that is missing from the above is ... me.

It's so fun hearing from Daphne all about Maegan when I came home from work. All the things she did, she smiled when she cleans her and how she was a great baby when Daphne brought her to her previous work place.

It's fun to hear all the stories but I wish I'm with her instead of being stuck in the office at 11pm. I wish I saw her smile and play instead of sorting out which Asian delegate is coming and which is not. I wish I could hear her chatter instead of hearing reports and updates about our upcoming event called One Degree Asia (www.onedegreeasia.org).

I so wish I was home. So much so that during our late dinner, I took out Maegan's photo to show everyone.

It's been a busy time recently at work. It happens when events are round the corner but somehow, with a baby at home, you sort of want to be home with your baby and her mummy.

You wake up in the morning and she has finished her morning feed and sometimes playing, but mostly sleeping. You finish your breakfast and if you are lucky, you get to hold her and play for a couple of minutes before it's time to leave for work. You work on an overdrive and you come home to a sleeping baby and all you see of her are the images of her during the day through the stories shared by your wife.

Not quite the dad I want to be. Inevitable at times but truly, not my preference. There are times that work demands more time out of me but when it comes in expense of my time with my family, I like to think I have a choice to choose family first.

So, I'm choosing to get unstuck from office tomorrow. I'm staying in a little longer in the morning. Hopefully, I can take Maegan out for a stroll in the park and play with her. See her smile and giggle when Daphne wipes that hanky on her face.

And maybe if I'm lucky enough, she might just "talk" to me. Now that would be nice. :o)

Imagining the future

Who do you think has the greatest imagination in the world today? In my opinion, Parents.

Parents I think have very wild imaginations about their baby. Daphne and I are no exceptions. I'm probably the worst. What do I mean? Read on.

If you have read my previous post about Thinking Funny, I often imagine what Maegan would be like when she grows up. And the little things she does spurs that imagination. This is what I mean.

When she smiles with the sweetest smile ever, I think that she would become a model.

When she punches me when I carry her (yes, she punches her dad), I think she would be a great female boxer. Not that I like that very much.

When she swings her hands rapidly when she's lying in her cot, I think about her being a professional swimmer.

When I hold her and see the length of her fingers, I tell Daphne that she could possibly be a great pianist.

I'm not alone. Daphne's the same. She sees her movements and believes wholeheartedly that she would be become a ballerina.

Recently, her legs starting actively moving rapidly and I say to Daphne "do you think she will become a professional athelete?"

I don't think we are alone in our wild imaginations. Remember how in ancient times parents will let babies pick certain items to see the future they will have? Nothing much has changed since then.

So I think I'll keep on imagining how the future will be. It's kind of fun actually. The scary thing is worrying about which one might come true.

Professional boxer? I would prefer the ballerina if you ask me. :o)

Remembering Dad

Today one of those significant days on the calendar that stays with you forever. 9 July marks the death anniversary of my dad. 12 years ago today, my dad passed away in Manila Philippines when I was only 17, going to Poly. My dad was 48.

Every 3 years, my mum would publish his obituary in The Straits Times and this year is the same. Except that since the last one, we have now three grand-children to his name. Troy, Dawn and Maegan.

Really, it should have been four. Mattheus name should have been in there.

Whatever it is, today also marks the first time I remember my dad as a new dad myself. It makes one enter into a reflective mode of sort. For me, the reflection was on how great it would be if my dad got the chance to see Maegan.

My dad was one of the self-made man who took care of his siblings because his dad died young. He was the bread-winner of the family for a while and became the father-figure to many siblings.

I recall every year on the second day of the Chinese Lunar New Year, all my relatives will come over our place and celebrate. Dad would cook (he's a fabulous cook) all the yummy stuff. One year, we had popiahs, another year, would be his favourite chilli crab. Food was endless as it is one of his love. And so was mine.

Dad was quite a dad. I'll always remember the $1000 bag he bought mum from Hong Kong one year. The time where he bought be a small electric piano that he left in the boot for me to search. I'll remember the mango tree that he planted in our house along Rifle Range Road that only bore fruit after he passed.

More importantly, I remember the times where I knelt in front of his bed when I did something wrong. The times we spent at the driving range learning golf together. The times when I caddied for him in Green Fairways. The times I spent going around with him during my school holidays. The time when he spoke fondly of me to his friends.

So many memories, so little time we had together.

When Maegan turned one month in June, I went around with my mum to distribute cakes to all our relatives. Part of a chinese custom to celebrate the one month birthday of the baby. We took a box to the temple where dad's ancestral tablet was and I stood there looking at it and saying to him how I wish he could be around carrying Maegan.

He would have been a proud grandfather. A cool one too. He would have spend countless money buying toys for Troy, Dawn and Maegan. He would carry pictures of them in his wallet and show to his business friends. He would be a great grandfather.

So as I read his obituary today, I remember dad, with me being dad myself. It's weird but you see things different when you have a child of your own. Many things that you couldn't quite understand when growing up about dad now becomes a whole lot clearer when you become one yourself.

And inevitably, you see a little of the old man in yourself. Both good and bad. (The good is the way we love our wives. The bad is the way we drive)

Today, I remember my dad of whom I wish I had more time with. At the same time, my journey with my with dad helps me put times in perspective about my time with Maegan. I can't take health for granted. I can't take the time I spend with Maegan for granted. Honestly, I can't take anything for granted.

For 9 July reminds me that the important aspect of being dad is not the amount of things you can buy for your child, or the amount of inheiritance you can leave behind, it reminds me that what is important in life is being there for the one you love. The moments you live together, the memories you both create.

While my dad and mine was relatively a short one, I intend for Maegan and mine to last much longer. I want to be there when she needs my help in studying. I want to be there when she graduates from university. I want to be there when she first bring a guy home. I want to be there when she gets married and walk her down the aisle. I want to be there when she carries her first child. I want to be there when my first grandchild is born. I want to be there whenever she needs me.

It's a journey I'm looking forward to. A journey that creates memories that lives forever.

So today, I remember Eric Tan Soon Poh. 1946-1994. My Dad.

A "Small" Present from Maegan

On my birthday on Friday, I took one firm step in my journey being dad. I changed Maegan's diaper for the first time.

Not quite Daddy501 yet but I have found that diaper change is both an art and a science.

On Friday while waiting for cell group friends to come, Maegan started on one of the "clean me I've peed!" cry. She's fussy about her diapers and the moment they are wet, she wants to be changed.

The problem was, she was in my arms when she was crying. Daphne was showering and Nina my helper was in the toilet. And I was ... stuck. I had a choice to make. To wait for either Nina or Daphne to come out, or I could do it solo.

Seeing Maegan's upset face, I decided that I was going to embark on my first foray into the world of diaper change.

Finding out there there were two types of diapers wasn't a good start for me. One was unfamiliar and small while the other looks like the same one that she's wearing. The latter has to be right. Found the pail of water and cotton that I was to use to clean her and I laid everything within reach.

With all the aparatus ready, I started. Unbuttoning her jumper, I undid her pampers, cleaned her with the wet cotton. "Always downwards" was what I recalled from my antenatal class. It's almost an art form knowing how to hold both her legs in one hand while cleaning with the other hand.

Once she is nice and clean, I took the new familiar looking pampers and placed her on it. After some moments of wondering how to undo the sticky tape portion, I managed and triumphed in my first diaper change moment for my princess stopped her wail.

Maegan's happy now. And so was I.

On my birthday, I changed her diaper successfully. Having said that, I realised when I read the fine print of the Being Dad course materials, diaper change occurs not only in Daddy501 but also in Daddy201.

The difference? Pee and Poo. And on Friday, Maegan's birthday present to daddy was ...

A small one.